Had a dream of you last night,
The darkness of the night turned so bright.

Heard you again, felt your voice,
Never wanted the sun to rise.
A promise that we will soon meet,
Would be my life’s biggest treat.

No moment spent with you can be replaced,
You went away, and I was left dazed.
You are the king, and I am your princess,
Life without you is nothing but a mess.

I look for you in everything I see,
You made me, me.
You are in a better place they say,
To be with you is what I pray.

Had a dream of you last night,
The darkness of the night turned so bright.

Those twinkling eyes, that genuine smile,
which spread joys, an infinite mile.
Those lovely hair, that angelic face,
My teddy bear, I would love to embrace.

Your love so pure, touch so gentle,
Arms so secure, your heart so ample.
Words so genuine, sentences so kind,
Even in a zillion, none like u i will find.


Its your birthday, the 21st of May,
I can only say, Earth was blessed this day.
Your so cute, your so fine,
To you I salute, all about you just so benign.

Love you baby, so very immensely,
Together again may be, we will be shortly.
Thank you Dad, for everything you have done,
I am so glad, to be the chosen one.

21 May, 2010

Hi Pooh... omg this it self makes me cry... dad i really miss u.. how i wish there was some form of communication through which we cud talk u knw na how this daughter of urs yearns to talk to u.. in fact only u knw paa... i dnt show it to any1, dnt want to.. i wish ur reading this blog though m sure u dnt even knw wht blogging is.. Paa plz temme ur fine... plz temme u dnt miss us coz tht wud hurt u n i no way in hell want u to be hurt.. plz temme ur in a better plc, as everybody else says.. i wish i cud see tht better plc just once only to be satisfied tht u really r happy n satisfied without us..
Dad u make me so proud of u.. i wanna make u proud too... y aren't u here??? i have so much to show u, so much to tell u, so much to learn frm u... i knw its not ur fault tht ur gone, u didn't wanna go but... idk whom to blame whom to yell at for taking u away.. paa u are the one i look up to the most (though i am taller :) ) dad m so much in love with u i just cannot express.. i'm obsessed with u.. i never told u but i grew up wishing tht if i have to spend my life with a man he HAS to be like u.. but there is no1 like u.. how can i even compare????? i'd be blessed to be with a man who is even 10% like u... speaking of being with a man, it kills to think of my wedding.. i always had a dream wedding.. not anymore coz u won't be der.. its so not a dream wedding.. who wud give me away?? i dnt wanna be given away by anybody else but u... i want u so bad :( i graduated ur not here... m gonna do my PG ur not here to feel proud :( u were the only one who always thgt me tht, no matter wht one must always aim high... ur my inspiration dad.. u have struggled so much, u existed for us to make a life for US n wen it was time for u to live ur own life u cudn't... n guess wht?? ur children cud do nthg for u.. i'm so sorry paa.. i knw sorry is just a freaking word but again now m just helplessly gonna say sorry just like how i felt 2 yrs ago..
3 yrs back u were so surprised, we celebrated ur 50th bday. it was so exciting.. wht a party we had... one yr later, u were in ur death bed, dying in pain... why was it not me instead? i swear paa i wud more than gladly switch places with u..
ur so cute paa, srsly the cutest person i have ever seen.. i can bet my life on tht..

Dad, how i'd love to watch u get ready everymorning, u'd groom urself so well.. u took so much care of urself, the times u gave me a bath, got me ready for school or anything else.. wen u'd eat i'd always wanna eat with u, by ur hands.. the food definitely became more tasty.. u'd put so much perfume in the morning tht wen u came back in the evening n i'd hug, u wud still smell the same... i wanna hug u so bad now :( :( :( hw i walked around the house in ur shoes, they fit me so perfectly.. u had such beautiful feet, i was so envious.. mumma always said tht i get sm wings as soon as u come n den m fearless, tht was so true.. i'd wait for u all day just so tht u cud save me frm mum.. u never let her shout at me for anything.. i cannot recall even once wen u have shouted at me.. why else do u think i liked taking u for my PTA meetings :)
whoever said tht we dnt realise the value of things/ppl until we lose them was so right.. though i always knew i was blessed to be born as ur daughter i still blv tht i didn't value u enough.. i knw like many other ppl i havne't fought with u, yelled at u, stayed pissed with u but then u are such an angel who the hell wud do anything like dat?? u gave me no reason to be tht way.. n of course, u gave me the platform for my melodrama of being grumpy but i always did tht coz then i'd get a chance to experience the beautiful feeling of u trying to cheer me up.. those times wen u used to wake us up in sunday mornings by trying to irritate us in various ways while we were asleep? well most of the times i was pretending to sleep only coz it made u happy to wake us up tht way..
"NO" is one word i've never heard frm u.. u so encouraged us for everything n anything.. i don;t think tht word existed in ur dictionary, at least not fir us.. i remember in 6th std wen they were taking us for a 6 days camp,everyone said they'd ask der parents n let the teacher knw, i was the only one who gave up my name straight away coz i knew u'd not say no.. n i was so right :)

now wen i see ppl talk bad things abt their dad, even if its just saying "my dad is so irritating" i swear on u i feel like slapping them across their face.. coz clearly they do not knw wht it is like being without a father.. they will knw too.. if they do not knw the value of a father too bad for them, they r losing out on the best thing in the world.. selflessly n unconditionally to loved us dad, how? temme how did u manage to do tht? i swear if sm1 asked me to say just one thing bad abt u, i in my entire lifetime wudn't be able to recollect any.. ur certainly are the PERFECT man, the perfect human being.. so often i sudden;y feel tht i heard u or i feel ur in ur room n things like tht but immediately i have my reality check.. n my bubble bursts :(

mumma n u were such an awesome couple.. i have heard so many ppl who used to talk abt their parents fighting, i always cud only think "my parents never fight" :) touchwood..
u always saved me.. right frm the time wen i was just conceived.. thnx dad u were the one who gave me a life, mom just gave birth :) since then u have always been there in front of me so tht i can follow ur footsteps, beside me as a friend n behind me to hold me if i fell... how can i forget the 100 million new names u used to gimme each day.. tht was just so cute... n if sm1 asked me wht i call my father i wud just say "paa, papa, pooh, babudi.. anything tht cms to my mind" coz srsly tht was the fact.. i called u just abt everything.. i wanna hug u so tight, i wanna pull ur cheeks, i wanna kiss u, i just wanna be with u no matter where tht is.. the last few days of ur life, u had so much to say but cudn't.. :( i wish i understood whtever li'l u said i'm sorry i disappointed u even then i knw. those last few kisses of urs.. :( :( :( u WERE, ARE n always WILL BE MY BABY. u certainly are my first child dad.. i wish we lived together for longer... i feel the most unfortunate among the 3 of ur children coz i got to spend the least amount of time with u :( i have so much to say yet m outta words.. may be even a life time wudn't be enough to to able to complete wht i have to say abt u.. but PAPA u were the bestestest of the best things tht has ever happened to me.. i feel so blessed to be born as ur daughter.. thanks for everything, i knw thanks is too small a word... n m sorry for everything.. i wish there was some miracle where i wud get a reply frm u to this blog or talk to u in sm way.. but i knw tht won't happen.. coz miracles dnt happen coz if they did u'd be with us today.. we'd be celebrating ur 53rd bday.. anyway happy birthday pooh.. i really love u n miss u.. i really hope every1 who has der father with them understands tht person's value n do as much as they can to keep him happy.... n Papa u, i will make u proud one day.. hope to c u soon :-*

I write just for You :)

So close, yet so far away
Into the wilderness you are gone,
You always completed my day
and embarked on my every new dawn.

I really miss You a lot, Dad
Wish I could see that angelic face,
You are the best I could have ever had
I crave to find of You, at least a trace.

Long long ago we were together
You were my baby and will always be,
You are my first love always remember
I know your still here, watching me.

PS:I call him my first love and not the first and last coz after him i fell in love with my mom. :)

Idk somehow this feels incomplete. Let it be for once. Love you Pooh :)

7 May, 2010

Life begins and ends with you.

You are the one I look up to.

Never thought of a life without you

Now, I yearn to know how you do?

Are you happy? are you sad?

You are certainly the best Dad.

Three months without you have been so bad,

I can't help but just go mad.

You made me smile when wrong went all.

You lifted me up from every fall.

Every time you went, you returned with a doll.

You were my everything, you were my all.

Everything has become as small as a crumb.

Through every thick and thin I held your thumb.

Now, as I think of the fact that you'll never come.

I feel nothing but all cold and numb.

August, 2008.